Bible Translations For Jesus' Children: Crash Dieting

Losing weight is hard, it's even worse without god on your side. Obviously, We encourage you to eat healthy and workout but that doesn't mean we haven't tried things like the master cleanse and apple diet...




“Even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” – Joel 2:12 (NIV)


"Even now," declared the LORD: Even now, says your mind
"return to me: ignore what your body needs
with all your heart,: with all your determination
with fasting.: stay on your crash diet
and weeping: and get over it, fatass
and mourning.": because nothing tastes as good as "Skinny"

Previous Bible Translations for Jesus' Children
3/19/2011 - Nightclubs and Bounces
3/18/2011 - Homelessness and Inheritance
3/17/2011 - Kanye West and Winos
3/16/2011 - Drug Dealers
3/15/2011 - The Police