F.A.Q.
1.What is "Logic According to Us?"
- Lauren - Logic is a guide, a beacon of hope, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow-- and this pot rainbow's not just for fags. (i know straight guys that, from time-to-time, act like fags.) with the constant stream of bullshit nowadays (hi, fox news's gigantic viewership) it seems that the world needs a little bit of hope (thanks, obama, we've got it from here.) i teach yoga to celebrities. this means one thing: i've not only mastered the art of schmoozing, but i'm also zen as fuck. and so can you!
- Jordan - "Logic According to Us" is the result of Lauren moving to Los Angeles. Our time being the life of the party was greatly reduced to, at most, 2 weeks a year. We had to be self indulgent somehow.
- Lauren - other blogs, for the most part, are written by annoying mothers whose "tough" gig as a housewife leaves them with nothing better to do than scrapbook their stupid fucking kids' lives on the internet or total social rejects who have locked themselves indoors with their girlfriend, Dell. We are not these people. We, per se, are rad as shit.
- Jordan - It's different because it isn't boring you with the details of our daily lives. That's what I have a Facebook for. We take the time to make our thoughts and stories more fun and put them into a helpful "how to" format. What other blog would justify your inability to make a single good life choice?
- Lauren - i smoke so much weed that i believe now that times not real. either that or i just cant ever remember shit chronologically because i smoke so much weed. it was founded because, as you just read in the preceding sentences, i have something to say and my judgement matters. i judge jordan's opinion to matter as much as mine. which is huge. we hate sharing.
- Jordan - Our blog was founded after well over a year of talking about doing it. We finally got shit done in February of '11. I'm obviously not anticipating on updating this page for quite a while. It was created because being bitchy, sarcastic and yet, somehow, charming is the only thing that can keep Lauren and I's attention for long.
- Lauren - marijuana, coffee and cigarettes.
- Jordan - The thought that I can "go to work" without going anywhere. The thought that someone out their might admire me because everyone I know has way better judgement than that and I know some people with really shitty judgement.
- Lauren - i feel like i'm cheating. i teach yoga and do stand up comedy
- Jordan - I'm charming, full time. My day job changes from time to time but the one thing that remains the same is I always hate it.
6. Why does "Logic According to Us" make me feel so pro-choice?
- Lauren - if you're right winged or an asshole, you probably wish we were never born. this isn't impossible thanks to our dear old friends, abortion & time travel!
- Jordan - We're obnoxious. You can rest assured that we get that. Also, God probably doesn't like us very much either or at the very least, he gets it too, so you aren't in trouble.
- Lauren - i am the classy-est bitch this side of the rio grande. is "stoned" who i think i am, or just what i am? jordan?
- Jordan - I'm that drunk guy at the party making people feel uncomfortable. I'm also the drunk guy that signs the word "water" into your hand and screams "water you dumb bitch, water" in memory of Helen Keller.
- Lauren - this is easy for me. my parents were idiots and moved here randomly when i was 2. wtf, right?
- Jordan - I moved here when I was 18 because I was 18 and, as a result, kind of stupid.
9. What is a Lady Class/Sire Fierce?
- Lauren - a sire fierce is an extremely rare yet somehow not-endangered species. there is only one of him, but trust me, this queen is indestructable. this might have something to do with his stone-cold glare (which usually manifests more as an eye-roll than anything else), his ferocious armor (a hoodie-- hood-up if he really means business), his artillery (always a lit cigarette), his diet of an olympian (red bull, white wine, beer & recreational drugs), his chariot (always some piece of shit car that only he could ever make run) and his lifeblood (his debit card). this is the most dangerous animal known to mankind. why, you ask? there is no one-- i repeat-- NO ONE (other than possibly me) that can deliver a quicker, wittier, bitchier retort or a side-splittingly hilarious quick-draw tweet than this guy. he IS absolutely fierce as fuck, knows it and so should you
- Jordan - A "Lady Class" is a drunken, chain smoking mess. Despite this, she is treated like a celebrity by many. She is a legend of the southwest and a pioneer. She could convince you to make terrible decisions, and probably will. To me, at least, she's also a closet hippie.
- Lauren - one day i interviewed with ciara and her manager to be her assistant. as usual, i was kinda stoned, looking hot as fuck and keeping it generally "real". i had both of them laughing, we were shooting the breeze while we breezed through my qualifications. the next day, her manager (who is basically the notorious BIG sans the gangster swag) calls me to tell me "look, i couldnt ask you to pick up ciara's dog's shit. you keep it real-- a little TOO real for ciara, 'na mean? i mean, you could come kick it, though. by the pool." what. the. fuck. i did go to the pool, though.
- Jordan - Lauren is too real for most. Obviously, Ciara is not a exception. Honestly, if I need a personal assistant, I wouldn't hire Lauren. One thing Ciara and I have in common is not wanting to be told to get our own damn coffee.
