Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Bible Translations For Jesus' Children: The Police

The Bible can be confusing. Everyone takes what works from them and ignores the rest of it. How can you know whats right? Going to church? No, thats just another person making their own interpretation. "Bible translations for Jesus' children" is going to become a regular thing on Logic According to Us. You are probably wondering who the hell we think we are to be able to say that after centuries, we are the first people to actually understand it. It won't be long until you get it though. If you are just going to take what you want from the Bible, you might as well just take the fun parts. Think of us as the opposite of Catholics.

Today's verse is...
Restore us, O God Almighty; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved.
- Psalm 80:7

Clearly this verse is about the police. Let's break it down...
Restore us: Restore my criminal record so I can still get a job.
O God Almighty: Seriously God, I know we don't talk a lot, but we're still cool, right?
Make your face shine upon us: Please distract the cops with a blinding light as I run from them
That we may be saved: I really don't want to go to jail.


  1. Oh my God that was funny. God Almighty, I might add. Rain the verses down, friends.