Friday, March 18, 2011

Why Being Unique is Bullshit

I'm sure your mother always told you that you were special just the way you are. If she didn't, you probably have a shitty mom. (Sorry, touchy subject/too soon?) This is one of the many lies we tell our children and because of that, many people truly think they are unique. Also, lots of people aren't. It sure is fun to think that you are someone special but let's be honest, there are over 6 billion people on this planet. Chances are, you aren't* . The good news is that being unique isn't really a good thing. You know who was unique? Quasimodo**. You know who he didn't get? Esmeralda. Seriously, most people look at unique people as weird... and not in a good way. For fuck's sake, there's a man who walks around Albuquerque in Daisy Dukes and goes on public access talking about how he drinks his piss***. Is he unique? Sure. Is he weird? You fucking know it.****

*just one in a million, you're one in six billion.  just another fish in the sea of bullshit fish.

**What were saying is: If you want to be unique, get a deformity. People will admire your commitment.

***His name is Gene.

****It's also important to note that he walks around Albuquerque ALONE.

So why is it so important to everyone to be unique? It's hard to understand why everyone strives so hard to be different. We're not saying you should just conform but its a lot of good damn work to be different. You have to think of something more unique than wearing a dress made out of steaks or entering a party in a giant egg. Thanks for nothing, Lady Gaga*****. We all definitely could be unique but we all also have way more important things to do. It was more important to sit on our collective ass (not unique) and blog (not unique) about being unique (probably also not unique) than to actually try and be unique. We may not be using our time wisely but we're not using it as unwisely as we could. You could also being using your time less wisely. You are boosting our egos. (Unfortunately only us two assholes think that stroking our egos is something that NEEDS to be done.) So once again, you can justify doing anything (or NOT doing anything) with the excuse of efficiency.

*****Also not unique: Madonna, anyone?

You're welcome for the time management skills.  Drinking a beer on the treadmill, anyone?


  1. I like to think that being unique is being a composite of a variety of non-unique things. :-D

  2. That's a good way to look at it. I'm not so much saying that being unique is dumb, but I definitely think that sitting around trying to be unique is stupid. I certaintly have never met anyone like myself but that's just me being naturally different. A lot of us don't need no stinkin' gimmicks.